Flames in the Darkness
calming the chaos
Hello Friends,
November arrived like a smack in the face. With the US election now over many of us are wandering around zombie-like, wondering what to do with our pain, our failed aspirations, our hope. Our creativity feels blocked as a flood of emotions crowds our thinking, poisons our solar plexus and heart chakra with negativity.
I never wanted to talk politics on my Substack. This for me has been a place to explore creativity, ideas, and growth. But for a moment I need to acknowledge the huge energy shift towards darkness and apathy towards one another’s pain. Excluding others makes some people feel safe. They themselves are in pain, but don’t know how to express it in a healthy way and so turn to demonizing others and blaming them for their own dissatisfaction with life. I don’t know how to fix this. I can’t fix it because it’s an inside job. They must fix it for themselves. Those of us who understand this aren’t perfect people, of course. But we can at least understand that trying to be a compassionate, helpful human being is something worth striving for. I don’t want anger. But I have it. I don’t want rage. But I have it. To process these emotions my thoughts are simply these: May my anger and rage at circumstances I can’t control propel me to fight even harder for justice for others. May my rage turn into life-affirming creativity and hope. May my anger keep me grounded so I may always seek the truth, and may I turn my energy into helping myself and others find a better path forward.
I’m at a loss here, to be honest. Writing is a way for me to clear my head, to make sense of the chaos swirling around me. But I need to find my center so that I can act. I don’t want to curl into a ball of uselessness. I don’t want to let the chaos in so that I’m crippled by it. I want to be aware so that I can help, heal, grow. This Substack was intended to be a place of growth. It will be harder now that so much negativity is falling like bombs around me, around us. But I will find solace here. I will find a garden of hope in my writing, in my painting, and in sharing my humanity with you. I hope you will find some hobby or organization that heals you during these times. We all need to share our joy, our humanity, our hope with each other. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Reflecting On
gratefulness
Readers: First, thanks to everyone who recently subscribed! I appreciate you all, and I hope you find something of value here in my little corner of the world.
Sunsets: Our early fall was beautiful, the leaves colorful flames in the sun. But we haven’t had rain in over thirty days. We are due for some early next week, and I hope it arrives—our trees are now brown with thirst. But life often presents two perspectives at once, and while the weather has been extremely dry, the sunsets have been beautiful. The angle of light in autumn creates a golden glow, and almost every evening the sky has offered a treat for the eyes. I am so grateful.
What are you grateful for so far in November?
The Heart of It
Giving yourself space to grow and create can be difficult, especially when you’re feeling stressed about the future. How can I create when I don’t know what will be? This is a question I’ve been asking myself a lot over these last few days. And I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. No one can know the future, even in calm, peaceful times. We have to let ourselves create despite what is happening around us. We might have to be more private about it or more courageous about it, but we must let it happen. Now is not the time to crawl into a shell. Now is the time to blossom, to give ourselves grace for not knowing which way the path will lead. I’ve found giving myself grace allows me the freedom to let go—I don’t feel stifled with perfection or fear.
Even though I’m finding it difficult to create these days, once I sit down and begin, I feel better. It’s a way for me to stop worrying about the future. And there is value and boldness in allowing for growth and creativity during chaotic times. The chaos becomes the stone we sharpen ourselves against.
Friends, the path ahead looks murky, for sure. But we are flames in the darkness. Our souls become brighter with every act of creativity, helpfulness, and compassion. Now is the perfect time for a grateful list, a love list, a to do list. Now is our time to shine.
Until next time, be the light!
Jan
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*All text © Jan M. Alexander/Leotti. All rights reserved.
*Tree photo & Sunset video by Jan M. Alexander © 2024.